Welcome to Georgia's Journey

Georgia Lily Lucas was born at home on October 6th, 2008 4:15am, in Winnipeg, Manitoba. She was diagnosed with SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) on April 1, 2009.

On April 3rd Georgia was taken home, to be near her sisters and the rest of her family and friends. Nearly three weeks later, on April 21, 2009, she died peacefully -- in the loving arms of her mother and in the same room in which she was born.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Babies

The other day one of my friends remarked as I held her 6 month old son, "I just can't believe that you can hold babies." I was kind of surprised by the comment because she is somebody that I know rather well. For those of you that don't know me very well I love babies. I always have. In fact, I love them so much that for a while I considered doing the training to become a doula. I am also surrounded by babies. I think that it has to do with my age and stage of life. I have many friends with children under two.

Now, I understand how many people would have a hard time being around babies or pregnant women after losing a child. I was actually afraid that this would be me. So far however, that hasn't happened. Since Georgie died, I have held many babies, attended two 'first' birthdays and one baby shower. At no time did I ever look at any of these babies and feel any kind of negative feelings. I admit that at the two birthday parties I wished that Georgie could have been there to have fun with the rest of us.

For those of you that hesitate as you approach me or look awkward as you glance from your little one to me, please stop. While you may think that you cover your feelings well they are painfully obvious. Mike and I have not given up all hope of having another child. We just aren't there right now. We both love children and find it hard when you try to 'protect' us. We are both honest and straight forward people and if we are uncomfortable we will let you know. While losing Georgia has been amazingly difficult we still feel blessed to have 3 beautiful children even if we can't always see our youngest.

Sweet dreams to all of the little babies in my life (and to their mommies too!)

Love to you all,

Kristen

4 comments:

  1. Sandee Roulston (Nykoluk)June 26, 2009 at 12:53 AM

    Kristen,
    It's been awhile, but I definitly remember being 13, and you described it so well! I haven't seen you since Calla was a baby, that day at Kristy's mom and dad's pool for a "girls day"! I just want to let you know that I read your blog very frequently. Even though we haven't seen eachother in years, it would be nice to get all of us girls together again, maybe a pool party like the last time.
    I wanted to let you know something so awesome in case you didn't know; Kristy just had a 1st birthday for Molly, and in leiu of gifts, Kristy and Jay asked everyone to purchase a book to donate to the children's hospital, in memory of Georgia. I thought that was awesome! Jay has made labels for inside each book, to read; In memory of Georgia Lucas.
    My sons and daughter are all very familiar with Georgia's journey, and we have planted a little flower in our garden for her. My daughter, Kennedy just instantly assumed we should name the flower Georgia, so we did. I am not much of a "gardener", but I will tell you that one flower we planted in her memory, has outgrown every other flower (and weed)!! It has become the most beautiful flower!! Georgia seems to be bringing love into many homes, even if she didn't even know us! What a truly beautiful angel.

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  2. I love your straightforwardness and honesty. I would think that holding babies and being around them would give you peace and comfort. That is how I always feel when I am around them. Jeff and I are in the same boat as you right now. We want to have more children and have not given up hope that we will someday. However, we are terrified of passing this on to another baby and will take time to weigh all our options. Best of luck to you in your decision.

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  3. Kristen,
    I am sure for many people seeing and holding a baby after losing your own would be terribly difficult but I am glad you aren't finding that so far. I am also glad you are letting people know as I think it is natural for people to assume it would be really hard-it is a good reminder that everyone grieves differently and finds comfort in different ways. I know you love babies and love your friends, and you are right, at this point in life they do go hand in hand. We are all so lucky to have you in our lives and feel blessed you are so open and willing to still share in our adventures. I know, as you have mentioned, you are seeing so many changes in yourself, but that is somewhere you haven't changed a bit. You are open, honest, filled with love and compassion and honest interest in others-that isn't always easy to find. You may not feel that way each and everyday, but the underlying love of people and what is going on in their lives is still there-remarkable!
    Thanks for just being you, Em

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  4. Although I do not know you or your family I can sense how confident and strong you are. I love that you can see your blessings even through such a great loss. I continue to pray for your family and can only hope you have many more blessings that are yet to come.

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