The other day one of my friends remarked as I held her 6 month old son, "I just can't believe that you can hold babies." I was kind of surprised by the comment because she is somebody that I know rather well. For those of you that don't know me very well I love babies. I always have. In fact, I love them so much that for a while I considered doing the training to become a doula. I am also surrounded by babies. I think that it has to do with my age and stage of life. I have many friends with children under two.
Now, I understand how many people would have a hard time being around babies or pregnant women after losing a child. I was actually afraid that this would be me. So far however, that hasn't happened. Since Georgie died, I have held many babies, attended two 'first' birthdays and one baby shower. At no time did I ever look at any of these babies and feel any kind of negative feelings. I admit that at the two birthday parties I wished that Georgie could have been there to have fun with the rest of us.
For those of you that hesitate as you approach me or look awkward as you glance from your little one to me, please stop. While you may think that you cover your feelings well they are painfully obvious. Mike and I have not given up all hope of having another child. We just aren't there right now. We both love children and find it hard when you try to 'protect' us. We are both honest and straight forward people and if we are uncomfortable we will let you know. While losing Georgia has been amazingly difficult we still feel blessed to have 3 beautiful children even if we can't always see our youngest.
Sweet dreams to all of the little babies in my life (and to their mommies too!)
Love to you all,
8 Years an Angel
2 weeks ago