Lessons From the Gym

As many of you know I have started going to the gym, mostly to run off my anger. I have never been much of a runner. I can sprint for short distances (fastest kid in fourth grade thank you very much) but don't ask me to run further than a couple hundred metres. I could list a bunch of lame excuses but I'm not going to bother. Running requires discipline and controlled breathing similar to swimming. Let's just say that I am not a very disciplined person. Since I started going to the gym a few weeks ago I can now run a mile and a half before walking for a couple minutes and then starting up again. Not great I know, but not bad either. Along the way I have learned a few hard lessons about running on a treadmill especially if you are a grieving mother.

Number 1 - Letting tears fall on the treadmill is okay because nobody looks at you anyway. Sobbing on the treadmill is not good because if you're asthmatic you are one tiny step away from hyperventilating and people will notice. I only ever came close.

Number 2 - Never try to open your Sigg water bottle and take a big sip while you are actually running. This could lead to water down your shirt or worse yet the bottle slipping out of your hand and spilling all over the moving belt before shooting out behind you and hitting somebody in the leg. Yes, this actually happened to me! : )I should point out that it's not a sippy top.

Number 3 - Never try drinking water going down the stairs after a hard workout for similar reasons to above. I came close but managed to keep the bottle in my hand.

Number 4 - Always make sure that you know what time the gym is closing. You could end up in the whole place alone because the staff are too polite to tell you it's closing time.

Number 5 - Never try to walk on the treadmill backwards at a high speed especially if you are just trying to jump on off of the sides. Picture it!

Number 6 - When the sweat is pouring down your back and you can hear your heart beat in your head think of how hard a wee babe worked to breathe and keep on running for another minute. So easy!

Number 7 - Laugh at yourself! Life is still fun!



Love to you all,

Kristen

Summer Planning

Mike and I have slowly started talking about summer plans. He really wants to go to Calgary this summer and I can't think past Sunday for the most part. This is the season, especially in Canada where all of the outdoor runs, walks, golf tournaments etc. for charity happen. The walk for SMA done here in Winnipeg called Quinn's Quest is not happening this year. I don't have all of the reasons why and don't want to be the annoying person asking too many questions so I have decided to let it go. If anyone knows the exact reasons I'd love to know. If it is a matter of volunteers I am pretty confident at this point that I could help in that area. There is a sister run done in the Toronto area called the Rebecca Run. www.rebeccarun.com Mike and I briefly discussed going to do this but with the money spent on flights for four and hotel rooms we'd be better off just donating the money.

I have decided to let this summer go and focus on the fall. We are hoping to have some kind of fun filled family day at the beginning of October to honour Georgie's birthday. Keep it in mind as we are hoping to have lots of people.

Our friends the Strongs are going to be taking their daughter Gwendolyn on a 5 000 mile journey across the Southern States to meet family. They are hoping to raise 50 000 dollars for the Gendolyn Strong Foundation. Got 10 Bucks?...wait maybe 11 with the current exchange rate. They are asking for 10 dollars a mile. If you are interested check it out at www.gwendolynstrong.com or sponsoramile.com

Love to you all,

Kristen

Love or Fear

Tonight, I ended up watching part of this program on PBS with a guest speaker by the name of Dr. Wayne Dyer. One of the things that he said stuck with me as I tried to go to sleep. He said that there are really only two emotions, love and fear. Everything that is love cannot be fear and everything that is fear cannot be love. I found his idea particularly interesting because I remember one night in the hospital talking to Mike. We decided that we could not continue to live in fear with regards to Georgia nor could we base our decisions regarding her care on fear. All decisions would have to be made out of love even when the options were terrifying.

The ramification of our discussion and resolution was particularly apparent on the day that we were leaving (April 3rd). The EMTs had just walked into the room with the stretcher and we were preparing to leave. I said a silent prayer that my daughter would at least make it home. Immediately thereafter, I was struck by a moment of panic. What would I do if she crashed on the way? Dying in a moving vehicle strapped down to a stretcher was too nightmarish to truly imagine so instead I told myself that if Georgie started to have trouble on the way home I would tell the driver to stop and I would just pick her up. You see all that we were left with was love.

Many people tell me how much they enjoyed reading about the time that Georgie was at home. Those 17 days were the best and worst of my life. I'd be a liar if I said that fear wasn't often present but we had made a pact with each other and our daughter that we would love her. Loving her meant enjoying her and keeping her happy. She was never happy in that hospital room despite the excellent care provided. Loving her meant letting her be with her sisters, grandparents, aunties, uncles, relatives and friends. Loving her meant rejoicing in every moment we had with her and every breath that she took...

Loving Gerogia means getting up every morning and trying to smile. Loving Georgia means finding a way to laugh everyday. Loving Georgia means loving her sisters and her daddy. It means treating people with kindness and never, never judging anybody. It also means letting go of the anger that sometimes threatens to consume me. I could list a hundred ways to continue loving Georgia. She represented everything good in this world. Georgia continues to lead all of us on her journey. She is ever present as we make decisions for better or worse everyday. While I struggle to make even the simplest of decisions some days I can feel Georgie's love and strength as she leads me. I once wrote that we were clearing the way for her but that is no longer true. Not only does she lead, she clears the way for all of us that choose to follow.

Love to you all,

Kristen

Superslide

Yesterday we went to Tinkertown with our friends the Robinsons. For those of you who don't know Tinkertown it is a kids' amusement park on the outskirts of Winnipeg. The girls absolutely love it there. They ran from ride to ride with their friends Hannah and Eva with little Ethan close behind. I had the opportunity to experience two rides. Being the sucker that I am, and having a rather strong stomach I ended up on those crazy spinning apples with all 5 kids. Poor Ethan didn't really like it. I actually didn't mind it.

Immediately after the apples the kids decided that they wanted to go down the Superslide. You know that giant yellow slide where you have to sit on potato sacks. Being scared of heights I was hoping that my husband would take the lead on this one but Maya insisted that it be mommy. So I followed the girls up and placed Maya on my lap and then it happened... For those brief few moments that I was sliding with my giggling daughter I was free! There was absolutely no grief, only a child and her mommy experiencing the joy of flying down a giant slide. I can't actually describe the sensation. I have only ever experienced it a few times in my life. It was amazing!

After Tinkertown, we all went for a late supper at BPs. The meal was quite chaotic being that we had 5 tired and hungry kids, and yet so much fun. Ethan decided that he loved the spinach and artichoke dip and when I didn't get him more dip fast enough he launched a chip at me. Great shot Ethan! The server seemed unfazed by the craziness of our party. Eventually everyone was fed and ready to leave.

To say that I didn't miss Georgia and think about her countless times throughout the day would be a lie and yet I knew that she approved of our fun. I have no doubt that she smiled as mommy went down that slide.

Love to you all,

Kristen