So, I have this book. It's actually quite a good book, thank you Emma! It's written in point form with no more than 2-3 small paragraphs on a page. This is perfect for a grieving parent because sometimes a paragraph is all that I am able to grasp before I have moved on to other thoughts. In this book, it says a parent should move toward their grief. I get the concept but I am starting to wonder if the author has any idea what s/he is talking about. How does one walk towards something that comes at you from all angles? How do you walk towards something that has already overcome you? I have no problem with letting it overcome me. I accept my grief as I have always accepted my happiness. It is now part of who I am. Maybe this is what the author meant to say. Or, perhaps s/he should have phrased the idea in the negative "Don't try to run from your grief." This makes more sense to me.
This book also has lots of ideas about ways to continue moving forward and gives all kinds of advice about what is normal. Apprently and as sick as it sounds, I do death well. It talks about listening to music, whether is makes you happy or drags you right back down into the pit of despair. Check! It talks about going to the cemetary regulary to try to find peace. Check! It talks about giving yourself time away from social situations and asking friends and family for patience. Check! It talks about just getting away for a while if one feels the need. Check! I hope that you are picking up on my sarcasm.
We went to Grand Forks for a couple of days. I would love to regale my female readers with tales of amazing bargains but the truth of the matter is that I wasn't into the shopping. My book says nothing about what to do when you find yourself looking at baby girl clothes and wishing that you had a baby to put into them. Nor does it say anything about staring at maternity clothes and wondering why that baby isn't still here. It doesn't offer any advice on learning how to laugh with your children as they go flying down waterslides or yell "Where's my supper?" in the middle of the restaurant before we had even ordered. Guess who that was?! : )
I did enjoy the quiet ride down the back country highways. There aren't any trucks allowed and there was next to no traffic. I have never seen so many birds in my life and we saw lots of deer too. In fact, there was a doe standing on the edge of the highway at one point, her big eyes seemed to be staring at us. Mike started to break, afraid that the beautiful creature would dart in front of the van. Instead she stood there until we had passed and then hopped back into the woods seemingly without a care in the world.
And so, my book seems to be lacking in some areas but I think that I am okay with that. I figure that if I can still see beauty in the world I am still moving forward.
Love to you all,
8 Years an Angel
3 weeks ago