Welcome to Georgia's Journey

Georgia Lily Lucas was born at home on October 6th, 2008 4:15am, in Winnipeg, Manitoba. She was diagnosed with SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) on April 1, 2009.

On April 3rd Georgia was taken home, to be near her sisters and the rest of her family and friends. Nearly three weeks later, on April 21, 2009, she died peacefully -- in the loving arms of her mother and in the same room in which she was born.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

solitude

I went to Georgia's grave site today. I was alone at home and found myself being drawn to the place. I laid a single stargazer lily in the soil that now marks her final resting place. I had Roy Orbison's In Dreams blasting from the windows in the car. I don't know how long I sat there, long after the song was done at least. I've always loved cemetaries. I am one of those strange people that find them restful places. I used to play in one overseas when I would visit my aunt. My childhood memories remind me of a magical place with trees and a creek where we would catch frogs. I used to take time walking amongst the graves reading the tombstones. I always thought that they were beautiful and I would try to imagine the people and their lives. My images were based solely on their ages and the few lines that were sometimes inscribed. Funny, that I never really thought about the people that were left behind. I can only blame it on the fact that I was but a child.

I guess that I must have found some peace there today because I finally got up off the ground. I am looking forward to seeing the trees start to fill out. They have plans to plant another 200 trees in the area. I like the idea that I will be able to see the trees around Georgie grow over the next several years. I take comfort that she now lies in my final resting place as well. For those of you that wondered, she was placed cross wise at the head of my future grave-site. That's why she is perpendicular to all of the other graves.

To my friends that I normally talk to everyday and see several times a week, I am asking you now for patience. I admit that I am not answering the phone and am not yet returning calls. I have no excuse except to say that I am craving solitude and with a 5 year old and a 2 year old those moments are hard to find.

We are leaving tomorrow for a couple of days away. I am looking forward to the private time with my family but dread the idea of being so far away from home, my home full of Georgia. If anyone is reading this and feels the urge maybe you could go check on Georgie's final resting place It's not hard to find, behind the pond, the small mound of dirt laying parallel to the road. I know that she isn't really there and yet I still take comfort in the idea that someone will check on her.

Love to you all,

Kristen

18 comments:

  1. Even being a faithful person and knowing she is in a better place, I can't imagine how difficult it is not to be the one watching over and protecting your baby. You deserve your times of solitude and I hope some time away, as difficult as it may be, will also provide you with a different sense of peace. My heart continues to go out to you, as I, a mother of 3 little ones, hardly knows where you begin. I thank you for your courage, humility and faithfulness, that continue to inspire me. These words seem like no where near good enough but every morning I wake up and pray that you can get through your day.

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  2. Abby, Quinn and I are already on our way.

    K

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  3. I too will gladly check on Georgia while you are away and say a prayer during my visit (probably sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star too). Take comfort in knowing Georgia will not be forgotten.
    Lorna

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  4. Kristen,

    Jesse, Noah and I will be there this afternoon.

    K

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  5. I'm glad you feel peace when you visit Georgia's site.

    Sometimes we all need time to ourselves and time with our families. Phones can always wait and friends will always understand. I hope you guys have a nice little trip and that you can come home feeling a bit more rested.

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  6. You have a long journey ahead of you - but know that we will all be here for you when you are ready.

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  7. I'm looking forward to going. Thanks for encouraging it...I was going to wait for your return. I will take the girls tomorrow...but we will be missing you. Enjoy some solitude and your family.
    Nat

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  8. Since getting back I have read your blog and find you and your family so inspiring. You have handled such a difficult situation with such grace and strength.
    I am so dissappointed I couldn't be more help for you and your family as we were away. We are so fortunate to have gotten to know your family this year and look forward to seeing you again after your trip.
    Wishing you well.
    Rebecca

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  9. Today I was supposed to volunteer at the Childrens Hospital Foundation of Manitoba Radio-a-thon, however got called back to work as we were shot staffed. When I arrived at work my coworkers were in the midst of gathering funds to put a challange out there to all other RBC branches. I gladly gave my donation in honour of Grorgia and proceeded to tell them about her and SMA. I hope if nothing else this will help raise awarness of this terrible disease.
    From my family to yours I wish you all the best.
    Take care
    Love the Krywys

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  10. Kristen,
    I am not sure when you are coming home from your time away, but hope when you do you are feeling a bit more connected to Mike, Calla and Maya.I can only imagine how taking care of Georgia, planning and dealing with your own feelings would have naturally put you out of touch in many ways. I hope you were able to see joy in the girls eyes, hear them laughing and being silly snd I hope it lightened your heart, even for a second. This is a long road, a rough road, but your family and friends are there-when you want and need them to be! Don't ever feel the need to apologize for needing time, you take what you need to get through each day and those that love you will be there when you are ready! I wish we were closer to have looked in on Georgia for you, but know we were thinking of you all, and of course Georgia, all the time and we were of course sending our love. I will be praying for the coming days, that you can find a sense of peace and restfulness if even for a minute.
    Take care, Love Em

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  11. There was alot of info on the radio today for the Children's miracle network on QX104 and Hot 103 to promote the understanding of SMA. Several people made donations in Georgia's name.

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  12. You are in my thoughts daily.

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  13. Hi Kristen, Mike, Calla and Maya.

    The girls and I went to visit with Georgia today. We had a little chat to her and the girls sang her twinkle, twinkle and Row, Row,Row your boat.

    Laura

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  14. I took Chloe and Lucas to visit Georgia today. We placed 2 white lilies in the ground next to your Stargazer lily. Each of them kissed the lily before we put it in the ground. Then they ran around and chased each other for a few minutes while I kneeled before the grave and thought of her smiling down at them.

    Kel.

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  15. I love seeing how many people are going to visit Georgia! We have always said how much she touched our hearts, and wow, it shows every day!! When we were doing our balloon release on Monday our neighbor came out and asked what we were doing and we talked to her about Georgia, your family and SMA. She asked that the petition be forwarded to her and she also passed it on-Georgia continues to touch lives and educate about SMA!
    I know Georgia will have been smiling down watching the kids playing while visiting her and also watching Calla,Maya, you and Mike enjoy time together. I know it would have been harder than I can imagine not having her with you physically, but she continues to be with you in love and spirit. I know that doesn't ease the pain but I hope it brings you some comfort, especially knowing how much she would love to see you all smiling!
    Love Em

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  16. I hope you come back feeling rested. I realize it will be hard on you all, and pray that you will be given the strength to take it day by day, hour by hour if need be.

    You have alot of support with all of your friends in Winnipeg, what a comfort for you both to know that they have been visiting with Georgia and taking their kids as well.

    We think of you and your family always, we might be in Calgary but we feel as if we are with you and your friends as we read your blog.

    God Bless you all.

    Carol

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  17. I have visited with Georgia a couple of times now when I've finished work at Glen Lawn. Her flower drawing is still there tucked safely under the rock. The grass is turning a little greener from the little bit of rain we have had...Georgia's sacred space is peaceful.
    Donna

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  18. I too went to see Georgia, with Gramma Betty and Auntie Gramma, Margaret before I left to come back to Ontario yesterday. The flowers were all gently blowing in the breeze and the sun was shining brightly in the sky, just as it was at her service. I will keep these visions with me for always. God Bless, Love Auntie Mary Lynn

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