The Sound of Life

When a baby is born we all wait to hear that famous first cry that tells us that s/he is alive and breathing. When Calla was born we were relieved to hear that first cry but within a few days I would start to dread it. Calla was by many accounts one of the most colicky babies most people had ever met. There was no rhyme or reason to her crying, she basically just cried around the clock. She would have about 3 twenty minute naps during the day and the rest of the time was spent with me trying to keep her from crying. Once she started crying she could go on for an hour or two at a time. It was exhausting. This went on for several months before she settled and eventually became one of the most calm toddlers anyone had ever met. I guess that she had gotten it all out of her system early! : )

Maya was a calmer baby who still cried but was much more easy to settle. Georgia was born with a strong cry but within a few weeks it would get weaker and weaker. I remember one day she was asleep in her car seat at Maya's drop in class and started to cry. I couldn't hear her but I could see her from where I was standing. I felt awful, not knowing how long she had been upset. I never dreaded hearing Georgia's cry because she was easily settled most of the time and it was such a soft sound. By the time she was three months, I swear that she understood half of what I said to her and would often wait patiently to be fed or picked up.

It sounds awful but I do find myself smiling and almost laughing sometimes when I hear Aria cry. It's not that I like her to be upset, but hearing how loud she can get and watching her kick and try to roll around is amazing! She is so strong and she is also easily settled. When she is kicking up a fit to be fed I remind myself to be grateful.

The night before Georgia died she had more breath than she'd had in weeks. She was cooing and trying to sing that night. Sadly, I had almost forgotten the sound of her voice. In the moment just before she took her last breath she cried out. It wasn't very loud but I knew that it took every last bit of her energy. It wasn't a painful cry, more like a cry of relief...or at least I like to think of it that way. Ironically, it was the first and last sound of her life.

So now when I hear Aria bellowing it out I remind myself that what I am hearing is the sound of life, music to my ears. : )

Love to you all,

Kristen