6 months

The last couple of days have been a time of reflection. If I asked some of you what you could accomplish in 6 months I bet that you could come up with some pretty fantastic ideas. I haven't accomplished anything fantastic since losing Georgia but I have learned quite a bit.

For example, I have learned that I'm not a half bad writer. People actually read this blog sometimes because they want to hear what I've written. I'm not sure if it's the topic or the way that I write. It really doesn't matter, it's just something that I have learned about myself.

I have come to believe that I will truly see an end to the disease that stole the life of my daughter. Not only will I live to witness it but I will be able to say that I worked alongside countless others to make it happen. When people ask me if we have had the girls tested (as carriers) I always reply in the negative. It will be their choice but I really believe that it will never be necessary. SMA will no longer exist when they are of child bearing age.

People sometimes ask me how I am doing? They ask me if it gets any better? In the six months since losing Georgia I can tell you that the pain is no longer a sharp, take your breath away kind of pain. It has become a constant dull pain that still occasionally takes my breath away. It now allows me to be happy but it has stolen my ability to become excited. It lets me enjoy my children's laughter but it also leaves me craving silence.

In the 6 months since losing Georgia I have learned that I will live the rest of my life with a broken heart. Dont' get me wrong, I do believe that one day it will be healed. My reality however is that it won't be healed until I have breathed my last breath and my heart has stopped beating.

Calla and Maya still talk about their baby sister all of the time. They make reference to missing her and we all say good night to her every night. When Calla draws pictures of her family there are always 5 people. This tells me that in 6 months I have done something right. Despite having a child die 6 months ago all of our members remain intact. Despite not being able to see one of us we remain a unified whole.

In the 6 months since losing Georgia I have learned that the only way to live is to open ourselves up to all that life has to offer, even when it's awful. For all of us that chose to live in our perfect little worlds where children don't die and everybody is always happy, we aren't truly living. We are only pretending.

Love to you all,

Kristen

Charity Fair

This weekend Mike and I took the girls along with a whole bunch of friends to the IBM Skateathon and Charity Fair. Mike was asked if he wanted to set up a table with the others for FSMAC. The girls had a great time running around with their friends playing games, winning prizes and getting their faces painted of course. They even got air brushed tattoos that they think are the coolest things ever!

Mike and I took turns sitting at our table. Nobody was interested in the charities however. People just came to skate at the MTS Centre and have fun with their kids. In the end we did bring in another $100.00 and my mom brought in around $90.00 selling her Norwex products (all profits to FSMAC). We did manage to educate quite a few people about SMA as well as Unite for the Cure. So, in the end I guess it wasn't a waste of time but next year we may just bring the girls and have fun, skipping the whole table thing.

Mike reminded me that it just goes to show what a great event Georgia's Journey of Hope was. If you haven't seen the site it proudly mentions that we brought in $9554.00 that day. That doesn't include some of the last minute ticket money and donations. In the end, we probably raised over $9700.00! We are quite proud of what we started and look forward to making it bigger and better next year.

We also have sent a cheque to Unite for the Cure for $3500 Canadian which means that we will have reached our goal! Thank you to all of you that have supported us. If you are still considering donating please don't let that stop you. Other families have raised way more than the $5000 goal.

Love to you all,

Kristen