Today I am remembering my angel that never lived to see her first birthday. Georgie would have been six years old - a champagne birthday! While we continue to celebrate her very special life, there will be no champagne. In many ways, today is the saddest day of the year for me. It is the day that reminds me of everything that might have been...
In a recent family picture Mike immediately noticed that there was a perfect space that should have been filled by another one of our girls. With every milestone that our family or one of our kids mark, we notice her absence. We did not send her off to school in September with her sisters. We did not take her to the zoo or swim with her in the backyard this summer. We will not be buying her Christmas presents or helping her write a letter to Santa. We will not be taking her on holiday with us in January. Yes, even six years later we both still have random moments where we feel like we're missing someone.
While it would be easy to let darkness and despair overcome me that is not what Georgia was about and certainly not what she would ever have wanted. She lived a very short life but it continues to impact so many others'. My daughter was full of light and brought joy into our family. While I will never hold her hand to cross the street, I can remember the way her little hand felt in mine. While I will never see her smile of hear her laugh again, I have many pictures and videos to remind me. While I will never brush her hair, I am lucky enough to have 3 daughters that let me do just that!
On days like today Georgia's absence is overwhelming. It's very hard to celebrate a child's birthday without the child being present. I could easily let myself be overcome with the feeling of having lost her but today I am reminding myself of her ever presence. I carry Georgia in my heart every minute, of every hour of every day. It is she who reminds me to be grateful. It is she who reminds me to laugh it off. It is she who reminds me to be kind and to give generously. She was a gift!
Today we will not be having a party or even lighting birthday candles. I am sure there will be tears but there will also be smiles and laughter. We will be grateful to have one another and grateful to have known her. Truly, it was an honor.
Happy, happy birthday Sweet Girl! We love you and miss you always!
Love to you all,
Nicholas' First Birthday in Heaven
4 days ago