Yesterday, while I was talking with our insurance agent he asked about the fundraiser in October. He immediately asked me if he could have a copy of the letter we are sending to companies because he said that he would personally go around to several businesses and get me some prizes. I was surprised by his generosity(not sure why) and surprised by my first thought to say 'no thank you'. Those words did not come out of my mouth, I can assure you. Instead I said something about how great that would be.
Before Georgia became ill my immediate reaction to anyone offering help of any kind would have been no thank you. I am an independent and stubborn person who hates the idea of burdening anyone. When Georgia was sick however, and I was in the PICU I realized very quickly that I was not going to be able to do everything that needed to be done by myself. I needed help with Calla and Maya. I needed help with meals and the house. I needed all kinds of things and people stepped up without me ever asking. It was and continues to be a very humbling experience.
Later on in the day yesterday I was surprised yet again when one of the moms from school gave me a gift. It is called "Angel of Miracles" and it is an angel holding a little yellow bird. I could tell that she had struggled with the idea of giving it to me. She even told me that she wasn't sure how I would feel about it especially because we don't know each other very well. Well Tracy, I love it! Thank you so much.
As I carried my angel home I realized something that I have been slowly learning along this journey. We all must learn to be gracious receivers. This is especially hard for mothers because we think that we have to be able to do it all. Many of us are afraid that by asking for help we are asking for judgement. This is simply not true, especially when we surround ourselves by kind and caring people. I don't pretend to be able to do it all. I don't pretend that every day is super fantastic. My life is one of ups and downs and when I am down I am learning to ask for the help I need to get up. The other thing that I am learning is that by asking and accepting help I am now more able to help others and...that feels really good!
While I don't feel especially down right now I am now asking for help. I will need many volunteers to help me make Georgia's Journey of Hope a success. If you are interested in volunteering please come to my house on Thursday, September 3rd around 7:00. If you can't make it and would still like to help please let me know. Not sure that you would like to volunteer but would still like to help? Mark October 3rd down on your calendars, tell others about the event and plan on coming.
One more thing... On Tuesday my mom and I are hosting a Norwex party. If you are interested in cleaning without chemicals, want to order something to replenish your supply or sit around eat snacks and see the garden come for around 7:00. Children are welcome of course. All of my mom's commission will be donated to FSMAC. Once again if you are reading this, you are invited.
Love to you all,
PS Thank you so much for your comment Vanessa. Writing a book has been brought up many times but at the moment my reasons are still selfish (healing). Perhaps one day when I have more to give I may change my mind. Thanks for being so honest in a public forum. You have no idea who may now pick up that book and find healing because you found the courage to say something out loud.