A few months ago I found out that I was about to be initiated into a club. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with this club and yet found that I was destined to become a member. The initiation is brutal and cruel, so much so that it can often break an individual. Once you have joined you are a member for life. The current members of this club consider it to be too large as it is and really don't want any new members. Despite this fact they open their arms and their hearts to all those that make it past the initiation.
I am now a member of Mothers Of Terminally Ill Children and Those That Have Lost Them. We have endured heartache that we wouldn't wish on our worst enemies. We have endured stares and whispers behind our backs. We have endured awkward glances and pauses even from friends and family that we have known for years. Some of us have stayed awake many nights wondering if our child would live to see the sunrise. Some of us have seen our small children endure such painful tests that most adults couldn't handle them. Some of us have had to make decisions that may haunt us for the rest of our lives. We have fought alongside our children even when we have been told all hope is lost. And yet despite its many crushing traits the club does have some attributes.
I have had the priveledge or meeting some of the most amazing and compassionate people in the medical field. Looking out from inside the clubhouse walls I have seen others make small and big changes in their lives after watching the initiation. I have been surrounded by people wanting to support and help me but.... my club still sucks!
For those of you looking in wondering how the members of the club are doing know this: We are a group that is stronger than many people imagine. Despite losing children many of us still believe in hope and miracles. We are capable of rising up and becoming a force for others because we don't want any more members! Many of us fight for our children and many of us fight for the children of others. Don't just sit there and feel bad for us.
Fight with us!
Love to you all,
PS Happy Birthday Mom!
8 Years an Angel
1 month ago