Changes

Today Georgia would have been nine months old. It's actually very hard for me to imagine. Because she never really met many of the physical milestones I can't really picture her pulling herself up and cruising around furniture like her sisters did. In some ways I am grateful for this. Being able to visualize it would only make it that much harder. My neighbor's little girl (almost 2) was trying to sing 'Baby Beluga' this afternoon. I helped her with the lyrics as it was one of the songs that I always sang to Georgia. Surprisingly, I did it with a smile on my face and no tears because there is nothing as cute as a child first learning to sing. Thanks for the fun time Avery!

The girls and I went out to the cemetary too where Calla and Maya ran around like a couple of crazies. They always have to go see if there are any geese or ducks on the pond and Calla likes jumping from marker to marker. She asked me if it was okay and I said yes. Most of the people buried under those markers were quite old and I think that they'd get a kick over some beautiful little girls taking joy in their final resting place. The friendship bracelet is still there Krista.

Changes continue to happen around and within us. Our days around here are full and happy for the most part. I find it hard to feel depressed in the summertime, especially in a city where it's winter for half of the year. Sometimes I feel guilty about finding so much joy in my life even though I know that this is the way Georgie would want it. I've noticed over the last week that I am interacting with the girls on a new/old level. I have gone back to actually 'playing' with them and not just going through the motions. Calla told me at dinner time tonight that playing at the park with me this afternoon was her favorite part of the day. : )

I don't cringe when I see people at the gym anymore. Most people seem to respect my privacy especially while I'm running. Thank you! I am also considering going back to work in the fall. For those of you that don't know I am an elementary school teacher. I have been subbing since Calla was born, between maternity leaves of couse. I think that I will sub again in the fall. The flexibility can't be beat. It will also help me pay for my fun bus trip down to Minneapolis in October. It's all about the shopping of course. : )

On the treadmill tonight I was thinking about what Georgie would say as we, her family, moved forward. As I left the gym I was greeted by a giant rainbow. I will take that as affirmation that she wants us to continue finding joy in our lives as we continually change.

Happy Birthday Angel! We miss you so much!

Love to you all,

Kristen

PS Go check out www.gwendolynstrong.com and see a 104 year old great grandfather hold his great granddaugher for the first time. You will be moved!