Welcome to Georgia's Journey

Georgia Lily Lucas was born at home on October 6th, 2008 4:15am, in Winnipeg, Manitoba. She was diagnosed with SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) on April 1, 2009.

On April 3rd Georgia was taken home, to be near her sisters and the rest of her family and friends. Nearly three weeks later, on April 21, 2009, she died peacefully -- in the loving arms of her mother and in the same room in which she was born.

Friday, July 3, 2009

The Crib

Our family crib has a bit of a history. It originally belonged to friends of Mike's family. The original couple had met a little bit later in life and had adopted a baby boy they named Nathaniel. We received the crib from them when we were expecting Calla and Nathaniel was around 3. Neither Calla nor Maya slept in the crib until they were close to 6 months old. They either slept in the bassinette next to me or in the bed with Mike and me. I always liked keeping my babies close and it made middle of the night feedings that much easier.

Last August, Mike took apart Calla's bed and we put in bunk beds for the girls. They now share a room and love their bed! I actually believe that sharing a room at this age has brought them closer. I'm sure in a few years it will be a very different story! : ) The crib stayed put in Maya's old room and the bassinette was brought back into ours. Georgie always slept in the bassinette or in bed with us just like the other two. On April 2nd however Mike returned home from the hospital to put the crib up in our room so that we could keep her comfortable and close to us. She had grown so much that the bassinette was now too small for her and the crib was better for toys, mobile etc.

Georgia slept in that crib for all of 18 nights, 17 if you discount the night we thought that we were losing her because she was in my arms. The crib still stands...

If the crib were still in the old bedroom I would just leave it untouched for the time being but it is in our bedroom (the portal as it is affectionately called). It kind of doesn't belong there and yet we can't touch it. Part of the problem is that you have to take it apart to take it out of the room. We have discussed putting it back into Maya/Georgie's old room but aren't quite sure what to do. Right now that room is full of stuff that I am struggling to go through. We could also take it apart and place it in storage but we're not there yet either. Our children are/were 27 months apart so the crib has never been in storage. We've discussed giving it away but aren't sure that that's the right thing to do either. Welcome to the indecisiveness of grieving parents.

And so, the crib still stands... in our room where our sweet Georgie slept for 17 nights.

Love to you all,

Kristen

3 comments:

  1. I think the indecisiveness comes from the fact that losing Georgie is so fresh for you. Although the pain will always be there, and will sometimes feel like it was only yesterday, it will also ease in different ways along the road (hard to believe sometimes I am sure!). I think when you are ready to move the crib out of your room, to let that part of Georgia's life with you become a memory instead of physical, you will know exactly what to do with it. The fact you aren't at a place to know about another child also makes a difference too, all things that will be answered in time, when you are ready. You have had a lot of emotions, and of course are continuing to go through them, and I can only imagine that having to decide those things is just another thing to add to the emotional toll you are already dealing with. So far I think you have taken things at a good pace, one you can handle and prepare yourself for as much as possible-just keep doing what you are doing and some of those answers will come to you.
    I know sometimes it might feel like moving cribs and those physical things will cause you to "lose some of Georgia" but that will not happen. You will begin to remember different things, different memories, but she will always be your baby, your Sweet Angel, and she will always be by your side...
    Thinking of you always, Love Em

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  2. You will know when the time is right. Just a thought ... I read an article in a magazine about converting a crib to a keepsake bench or using the rails as a garden trellis.
    Stacey

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  3. Nicholas & Olivia's crib is still set up in their room, almost 2 years later. I don't know when it will come down, and I don't know what we will do with their room. It's one more of those things that needs to happen in its own time. You'll know when.

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