I know that I haven't written in a while. It's not because I haven't wanted to, but I ended up with a really bad cold last week that lasted a good 11 days! I spent two Saturdays just trying to rest so that I could survive the week. I am finally feeling better but now poor Aria has a cold. She only seems bothered it by night however so I guess I should be happy about that.
With Christmas soon to arrive we have been very busy. Last week, we of course attended Calla's winter concert. Mike and I also attended a dinner to raise money and collect toys for the Cheer Board. I have also been trying to buy presents and wrap them as well as get out our Christmas cards and do some baking. I am trying really hard to throw myself into Christmas this year but I am finding it a little bit hard. Feeling sick for over a week hasn't helped my situation. I just ended up feeling overwhelmed and grumpy knowing that I couldn't get it all done without help.
Thank you to my mom! She has been here twice this week already and will be here again tomorrow so that I can volunteer for an hour at Calla's school. I have managed to finish all of my Christmas shopping and some baking. The cards are still sitting here but they'll get out eventually. : )
Tomorrow we are also being interviewed for CTV for a piece that they are doing about pediatric palliative care. No idea when it is being aired but will keep everyone updated.
So does it get easier? A little...we hung Georgia's decorations this year and I didn't feel bitter, just sad. While I am trying to have fun and continually remind myself about the true meaning of Christmas most of the time I feel 'flat'. It's hard for me to get excited about anything, even Christmas. I realized recently that I can go days without laughing. That's not good. I am going through the motions though and once again following my motto of 'Fake it till you make it'. My new year's resolution will probably be something like,'Laugh every day!' I may have to start recording Ellen. She always makes me laugh. : )
Love to you all,
Kristen
Shores of Grief ~ 15 Years
1 week ago
Thank goodness for Moms! I am so glad yours is nearby and can help you when you need it. I hope the piece with CTV went well, any info you can get out about SMA, palliative care etc is of such great importance!
ReplyDeleteAs for Christmas, keeping busy is good, but give yourself time for a 'break' too. You are such a great mom, keeping busy with the older girls, taking care of Aria, all while still grieving and forever missing Georgie....don't feel bad about taking some time for YOU-YOU DESERVE IT!!
I am glad there was less bitterness, and as for feeling 'flat'-the joy you feel will probably forever be different...not bad, just different, but you are getting there. Remember that although so much has happened in the last year and a half, it is still only that long. I can say I saw a little more of a spark in your eye last time we saw you and I was so glad, and I know Georgia is too!! You gave her all the joy, peace, security and love a little baby could ask for and I know she wants you to feel all that too!
Thinking of you as always, remembering Georgia each and every day and all the ways she has and is still touching my life. Thanks for sharing her, and your journey, with us! Love Em
Well said Emma.
ReplyDeleteChristmas is a time when we all feel overwhelmed, and wer`e not in your shoes Kristen. I`ll pray for strength to help you through. Those three adorable girls will be a blessing to you and Mike. Once your feeling on the mend you will be ok. Our love to you all and we wish you a Merry Christmas.
Carol