There have been many questions since I announced our pregnancy. From how am I feeling, (just fine thank you) to what is CVS testing anyway? The simplest one to answer is, do we know if the baby is a boy or a girl? The answer is yes. The testing we had done was genetic and therefore had to figure out the gender because some diseases are carried on the X or Y chromosome. When I received the results I also asked to know the gender. I couldn't help myself.
On the afternoon of April 3rd of this year I uttered 5 words that altered my girls' childhoods forever. "Georgia is going to die." There were many questions as you remember. They so desperately wanted to keep her as we all did but when they found out that that just wasn't going to happen they asked us if we could make them another sister 'to keep'. This request has come up many times over the last 7 months but we have explained to them that life doesn't offer any guarantees. Firstly, we could give them another sibling but that baby could very well be a boy. They weren't thrilled about this but seemed willing to accept that possibility. : ) The second thing that we told them was that if we had another baby, that baby may very well leave us and go to Heaven too. In the beginning, this lead to silence on their part but as time went on they continued to request a baby sister anyway.
I, on the other hand was convinced that even if we had another child it would be a boy. I can't fully explain why except to say that I felt like I had been granted my quota of girls and even if I had 10 more babies (which I won't) I'd have boys. Please understand that I consider boys every much a blessing as I do girls but somehow being granted another daughter would be too good to be true.
Often in the evening, Calla will spot the first star and make a wish. She does this very seriously as only a 5 year old can. I know that she often wishes for normal 5 year old things like toys but every once in a while I see a look come over her face and I know that she is wishing for something way more meaningful than a Webkinz. She never tells us her wish, afraid that it won't come true but last night she told me that she thinks that Georgie is up there in that first bright star of the evening. I love the idea that Calla believes that Georgie is up there helping her dreams come true because in this case that is exactly what happened.
Calla and Maya are thrilled to be expecting another sister. She has no name yet only 'baby'. They kiss her goodnight every evening right after they have sent kisses up to Heaven for Georgie. I guess sometimes wishes really do come true.
Love to you all,
8 Years an Angel
1 month ago