Welcome to Georgia's Journey

Georgia Lily Lucas was born at home on October 6th, 2008 4:15am, in Winnipeg, Manitoba. She was diagnosed with SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) on April 1, 2009.

On April 3rd Georgia was taken home, to be near her sisters and the rest of her family and friends. Nearly three weeks later, on April 21, 2009, she died peacefully -- in the loving arms of her mother and in the same room in which she was born.

Friday, December 11, 2009

The Bump

Two and a half months ago I sat in a public bathroom and stared at a stick that would change the course of this family. Dozens of emotions ran through me before I did something that I didn't know I could do. I took all of those emotions, shoved them deep down inside and then disposed of the evidence in a garbage can. In order to understand this you'd have to go back to August.

Sometime while we were on holidays or shortly before Mike and I decided that if the only reason we chose not to have another child was due to the fact that we were scared then that really wasn't a reason and certainly no way to live. Georgia taught us this and we do our best to live it. And so, at the end of September I stared at the stick in awe.

While I say that we do our best not to live in fear that was the one of the overwhelming emotions that set in. The idea of waiting nine months to find out if this child would even have a chance was too much for me to bear. And so, we decided to go ahead with the CVS testing. It is a test similar to an amnio where they take a piece of the placenta and then test for everything under the sun, including SMA. Because we decided not to tell anyone, this meant that on the morning of November 16th I woke up and 3:30 and snuck out of the house to make a 5:00 am flight to Toronto (CVS testing is no longer done in Winnipeg). The test went smoothly and I returned home in time to eat a late supper with the girls. We weren't ready to deal with everybody's questions, never mind opinions so we kept our pregnancy quiet.

11 Days later we received the good news. The baby does not have SMA or any of the other conditions that they apparently tested for. Mike and I were thrilled and relieved and thought that we were ready to share our joy with others. We managed to tell immediate family and a couple of friends before the shock and the reality of the situation started to really set in. There were also still a lot of 'What if?' feelings. After living in denial for weeks we realized that we needed time to let he news truly sink in. It has now been two weeks since we received the results and we are starting to accept the idea that maybe we really have been granted another chance.

We wouldn't have been able to keep it a secret much longer as I am now 16 weeks along. Being that this is my fourth pregnancy and I am a rather small framed person there is definitely a bump starting to make itself known. The bump continually reminds me that living in denial is no longer an option. At times I think that it even mocks me and asks why I would consider something so miraculous worth keeping a secret. The bump is a growing hope for our little family. Underneath the bump there lives a being that we hope will join us. We hope to watch that being learn to sit up, walk, run and grow up. We hope to hear this being laugh and scream in delight with her sisters. We even hope to hear her scream her lungs out when she scrapes her knee.

Saying all of that there are still some things that I want others to understand. Bringing another child into the world DOES NOT make everything better. While it does offer us another chance, s/he will never replace our Georgie. In fact, it is quite difficult at times to feel totally happy about bringing a child into the world when we only just lost one. Bringing another child into the world DOES NOT change our commitment to finding a cure for SMA. Georgia's Journey of Hope will go as planned. In fact, I view this child as another warrior to add to the ranks.

Love to you all,

Kristen


PS Within half an hour of hearing the good news I had to pack up the girls and drive them to dance. We all screamed in delight (well, I actually started to cry) as we passed the Blues' house. For the first time since the day after Georgia's funeral the twinkling stars were shining. I almost jumped out and banged on your door Lorna! Thank you for making our day that much more special.

23 comments:

  1. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! What terrific news :)

    'Lucy'

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is such wonderful news! I am so happy for you and your family! Best wishes on a wonderful pregnancy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Congratulations! That is such wonderful news! How lucky this little one is to have you and Mike as his/her parents and I have no doubt that Georgia's memory and legacy will continue to live on as you welcome this new one into your family.

    Renelle

    ReplyDelete
  4. Congrats to you all again Kristen, we are so very excited for you! I have no doubt you will teach this new little one all about their big sister Georgie, and her amazing spirit that resides in all of you. I look forward to meeting your newest addition and seeing the love and excitement they bring to your family....hugs, Em

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yay Kristen! That's fantastic news! Wishing your family all the best. Can't wait to follow the bump for the next few months and continue to watch the bump grow up on the outside. Did you find out what the bump is? Or are you going to wait? So exciting! I'm so happy for you - you deserve so much happiness in your life!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Auntie Carol and GordonDecember 12, 2009 at 9:23 AM

    Congratulations, Mike, Kristen, Calla, Maya, and of course, we cannot forget Angel Georgia who must be singing with joy for your good news! That is so exciting to hear! You must all be so thrilled with the outcome of the tests in Toronto. What a relief for you all to know that this baby will not have SMA. Like you said, Kristen, she will be another soldier in your ranks to fight that dreadful disease.

    We wish you a Merry Christmas and we know that 2010 will definitely be a very Happy New Year for the Lucas/McDowell families! Seeing you soon at Family Christmas.

    Love and Best Wishes always,
    Auntie Carol and Gordon

    ReplyDelete
  7. Congratulations! I wish you all the best with your pregnancy and in welcoming this newest addition to your family.

    Lisa
    (mom_of_4)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Congratulations!

    Love Rick, Paula, Emma and Maggie!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Happy, excited, joyful are all understatements of such beautiful news. I wish from the bottom of my heart that this little baby is going to bring you so much joy. Your right this baby is an addition to your family and not a replacement for Georgia. That will never happen and believe me their will be lots of little angels rejoycing in heaven at this news.
    Georgia most of all. that her mommy will have another little one to love and sing to.Land Of The Silver Birch will be a well loved song in your house with lots of happy memories to go along with it. Calla and Maya although probably a little apprehensive must be delighted at this news.

    Our love to you all and congratulations your so brave
    , loving and the perfect family to welcome this new baby.
    Love and best wishes to you all our prayers are with you.

    Carol and Colin

    ReplyDelete
  10. Congratulations guys!! We are super happy and excited for you :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Looking forward to meeting this new addition to your family! So very exciting for all of you! Congratulations! Wonderful news to share with everyone this Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
  12. although i dont know you personally i feel like i do thru your blog and i just want to say how truly happy i am for you and your family it brings joyful tears to my eyes
    wishing you much health and happiness for the future

    ReplyDelete
  13. Congrats guys! My eyes teared up with joy, reading this post! Looking forward to seeing you all at your Mom's this weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Congrats guys!
    We are so happy for you :)
    xoxo
    Jo

    ReplyDelete
  15. OMG!!! Congratulations...that is so awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Congratulations to you both. What wonderful news. I know how much this means to you both.

    Love Carrie

    ReplyDelete
  17. Congratulations! I am so happy for you, and I am so happy that the tests went so well. I am praying that you will be able to truly enjoy this pregnancy, this miracle taking place inside you.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Beautiful, wonderful and exciting news! I am so very happy for all of you, my eyes keep watering with tears of joy. Babies are such wonderful gifts.

    Love and hugs to everyone.
    Madge
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  19. Congratulations!! That is indeed wonderful news. The testing was a good idea as all of you can enjoy without fear. John and Kate

    ReplyDelete
  20. Congratulations Lucas family!
    We are so excited to have a new little friend next door.
    What great news!

    Adrienne, Tim, Avery and Ty!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Congratulations!!! All of our love, support and prayers!!! I can't wait to rub the bump!! Have a Fantastic Christmas!

    Lots of Love
    Mark,Vanessa,Maryssa, and Morgan

    ReplyDelete
  22. That's WONDERFUL news, Kristen! Congratulations and I hope you are feeling well.

    P.S. you are welcome to bang on our door ANYTIME!... Ken and I are glad you enjoy the lights. Did you notice the small present under the tree in our yard (it's between the 2 "lighted presents"?

    Lorna

    ReplyDelete
  23. Congratulations!!! I admire your bravery and am so happy for you all! We were in Grand Forks for a couple of days and so had to miss dance class. Can't wait to see you:) Corinne

    ReplyDelete