Welcome to Georgia's Journey

Georgia Lily Lucas was born at home on October 6th, 2008 4:15am, in Winnipeg, Manitoba. She was diagnosed with SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) on April 1, 2009.

On April 3rd Georgia was taken home, to be near her sisters and the rest of her family and friends. Nearly three weeks later, on April 21, 2009, she died peacefully -- in the loving arms of her mother and in the same room in which she was born.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Worry

It has been brought to my attention that some of you may be worried about me being in over my head. Some of you are concerned that I may let this whole fundraising thing consume me. My only response to this is, of course I'm in over my head. I've been in over my head since March 16th. Of course I am consumed. Georgia was my baby and she is dead. She was not one of my grandparents or even one of my parents. You won't hear me singing "The Circle of Life" anytime soon. I helped to create her and felt her grow and move within me. She came forth from my body and left it in my arms! Of course I am consumed!

I am not consumed to the point however that I am letting fundraising take over other important parts of my life. My girls are well cared for and happy. Today I played "My Little Ponies" with them and took them swimming with friends. I also had dinner with my family and went to the gym. I am super busy at the moment but my family remains my priority, all of its members.

I am not staying busy to avoid the pain of losing Georgia. The pain remains. I carry it with me every second of every day. I talk about her daily and think about her constantly. Of course I smile and laugh because life remains joyful even with the pain. I will never be the same person that I was before Georgie. I believe myself to be a better person now even though the smiles and laughter don't come quite as easily.

A few months before Georgie became ill I was reading one of Eckhart Tolle's books and one of the things that stuck with me was that he says that worrying is an absolute waste of time. It serves no purpose whatsoever. No purpose because it changes nothing. I found this idea very liberating. I believe that it is only action that can change things. And so I have chosen to take action even if that means I am in over my head. Even if that means others worry about me. Please stop.

Love to you all,

Kristen

2 comments:

  1. Kristen,

    We are always going to worry about you because that's what we do with the people we care about (I think it's human nature). I do however agree with you that it changes nothing but only actions will. Kevin and I are so proud of you for what you are doing to help in the fight against this disease and even more proud of the person you are. I have no doubt you will take on this challenge with courage and strength and you will succeed.

    Anything you need, we are here.

    Melissa

    p.s I have some stuff for the silent auction - I'll give it to you when we do dinner next.

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  2. I second that.

    Kelly.

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