When I first started blogging the reasons for doing so were straight forward and clear. The blog was a place to keep family and friends from near and far updated on Georgia's condition. It was a place for people to ask questions and leave comments. Lately, I have been asking myself why I continue to write. Writing is therapeutic for me but I could just as easily write in a journal. Obviously, there are still a few people following but truthfully I have very little idea who reads this unless you leave a comment or email me. I'm pretty sure that Mike's Nanny Connie still follows. I just want you to know that even if you were the only reader Connie I would still write for you. I know how far away you feel and how you must worry.
The most important reason that I can think of to keep writing is for Calla and Maya. When they are old enough they will find a most significant piece of their childhood to be documented. That's really special to me but there is still something more. Since Georgia's diagnosis and passing I have felt myself being pulled along a path not of my choosing. It feels a little bit like I have been thrown into a river without sides. At times I am able to float lazily along with the sunshine on my face and at others I am left to thrash helplessly in the water just trying to keep myself from drowning. To try to go back would be futile and escaping is hopeless so I continue to be pushed/pulled along. Now, I'm not sure why but this blog has become part of that river. For all of you that continue to follow I have no doubt that you too feel or will feel part of this 'pull'. Destination? Still unknown.
Love to you all,
Kristen
PS We are off to do some very special tree planting today.
Happy 11th Birthday Emersyn
5 years ago
Dear Kristen!
ReplyDeleteI continue to read your blog! I am amazed that you take the time to keep us posted. I don't comment because I cannot think of witty and philosophical things to say to you. I am a reading 'listener' because I think you need to speak and be heard. Keep writing! I'm glad that you are experiencing some joy in your life with your daughters and friends. If you come out to Calgary, we are back on Aug.20th! Take care dear friend. You are doing good...
Marie-Josée
Kristen,
ReplyDeleteI too continue to read your blog. There are so many things that we can all learn from your insights and writing. It sounds like you've had quite a few adventures (or mis-adventures!) at the gym, but that you've also done some healing there as well. I'm glad to hear that you are still able to find laughter in your days.
I thought of Georgia the other day (as I often do). We were at the Children's Festival and they were handing out balloons. Inevitably, little hands don't always hold on too tight to balloons, so there were many that "got away". I thought that Georgia would be enjoying the many balloons coming her way!
I also thought of you the other day because I think I saw the same bird with the blue head you mentioned in an earlier post. Because of you, I have been noticing birds more, too! It looked all brown from far away, but as you got closer, the head was a dark, almost iridescent blue colour. I have absolutely no idea what it is (so I can't help you there), but I had never seen a bird like it before (or maybe I had, but had never cared enough to look closely before.)
Thank you for continuing to write, and for continuing to remind us all of what's important in life.
Renelle
I think you would be surprised at the number of people still reading your posts. I have friends who I passed it on to long ago who still comment on things you have written when I talk to them.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are still finding writing therapeutic, it is a place to share your thoughts and feelings without having to say them outloud-I know I find it much harder to say things verbally than I do to write them down.
Although you feel you are helping yourself by writing, I think you would also be surprised by how many people you are 'speaking to'. Not only do we learn about SMA and the Lucas' journey, we also learn about life-how even through the darkest times you can think of others (you always amaze me on that one!), what you can do for them, how you can make a difference and truly putting what matters first! I know so many of us remind ourselves not to 'sweat the small stuff', to hug our kids a little tighter, to cherish the day to day things we do-and that is an enormous gift.
I think you are so right about the blog being a wonderful place for Calla and Maya to learn about their childhood, their parents, and of course to remember their precious baby sister. I know you will never stop telling them about her but this will give them an insight you couldn't ever truly explain in words.
You continue to make us smile, to make us cry but most importantly to cherish life,the good and the bad. For that I am truly thankful.
We love you and will continue to 'be here',
Em
I am so thankful that you still continue to write. We have never met and I heard about your story through a friend shortly after the diagnosis. Since then I have checked your blog daily if not more. You have made me laugh and cry on several occasions and I too have felt the pull even though I am not personally involved in your journey. I am a mother and I think therefore my heart is still your story. You continue to inspire me and remind me of the precious lives around us. I hope you continue to keep this blog going. I am sure your daughters will treasure your words years to come.
ReplyDeleteKarin
We check in every day - your family is never far from our thoughts.
ReplyDeleteStacey, Dean, Ariel, and Isaac
Kristen & co.
ReplyDeleteWe check in everyday! Reading allows us to be able to pray for you and for your family in very specific ways. Thanks for sharing your heart with us! Hugs, Kim
We still check often. I probably look at the blog every other day.
ReplyDeleteBrent
I check your blog everyday and also the petition everyday it`s so encouraging to see how it`s grown.I love the way you write and it`s so helpful in your time of healing. I love to hear about your day and how your family are doing. Also love your "trysts" with the birds. Your always in my thoughts and prayers. Georgia blessed your lives and ours so much your Little 'Angel' will live on in our hearts and minds forever. If you do get to Calgary it would be great for all of us in Calgary to meet up and BBQ. The bird your friend was talking about with the very shiny dark blue head sounds like a Tree Swallow.
ReplyDeleteKeep up your stories about the gym, you and Betty Boop would make a pair, Or for that matter Lucille Ball would probably make a fun partner.
Love you Kristen you are fighting the good fight.'Let go and let God'
Carol
I also continue to read and follow your blog and your journey inspires me everyday to be thankful and appreciate every second we have.
ReplyDeleteHi Kristen and Mike,
ReplyDeleteI still check the blog, usually every other day. I too have felt the pull and often find myself, especially during quiet times, thinking about Georgia and your family. Your stories continue to inspire me. Paula.
I am still checking in too Kristen & Mike, and I think about Georgia often. I love your writing and your words intrigue and inspire me; you remind me to treasure moments and laughter and to look for the goodness and kindness in people. As long as you decide to keep writing, I'll keep reading. Thanks for sharing with us!
ReplyDelete~Tanya
Kristin,
ReplyDeleteYou are never far from our thoughts. Please continue writing as long as it helps. I learn something from you and Georgia every day.
Aunt Cindy
Kristin,
ReplyDeleteEvery week or so I check in to read the blog and see how you and your family are doing. Know that many of us continue to think of and miss Georgia too.
I recently moved into a new office that has one pink wall. When the facilities manager indicated that they had plans to paint it, I told him 'NO!'. Every time I'm having a tough moment, I look at that wall and think of Georgia. It makes me smile and she helps me through my day. Her strength, and that of you and your family, is inspirational to all of us!
Take care.
Rhonda B.
Kristen,
ReplyDeleteAlthough I have stayed in the shadows and have never commented, I check in every week or so.
Renee mentions Georgia name at least once a week and comments how much she misses her. Something always reminds her of Georgia.
You and your family are always in our thoughts.
Take care,
Kim
Hi Kristen & Mike;
ReplyDeleteI too usually check the blog every day. I'm a few days behind but just wanted to comment, as mentioned in a previous comment, that you would be surprised at the number of people that continue to read your blog. You have a huge community of people that care deeply for you and your family and are concerned about how you are coping.
This blog will be an amazing documentary of Georgia's story and what you have all gone through. It is a tribute to her and a treasure for her sisters to read when they are older.
You are amazing. Keep up the blog and the inspiration you are to all.
Thinking of you guys often.
Sue
I stumbled across your blog throuth a Facebook friend ... Maryilynn Busch.... the quilt is beautiful and I found myself in tears..... you writing is not only therapeutic to you, but I am sure it is to others... we sometimes do not realise how precious our lives are and need to be reminded occasionally..... life can be short but fulfilling. Thank you for sharingand I will continue to follow your story and those of your dagahaters as they grow..... thank you from my heart.
ReplyDeleteTracy ( Australia )