The Weight of Aria

Once, not so long ago I wrote about how I missed the weight of Georgia. A new mother knows exactly what I am talking about. You carry around this extra weight in your midsection for nine months and then you carry around that weight in your arms for the next several years. Recently, a friend asked me if I felt like I had the weight back. It took me a minute to realize what she was referring to and then I was surprised by my answer. 'Yes.'

Aria is now about twelve pounds. She, in no way replaces Georgia but rather, continually reminds us of the lessons that Georgie taught. At two months of age, Aria now sees her spirit friends on a regular basis. Calla and Maya have actually noticed this on their own. "What is she looking at mom? and "Why is she looking like that?" are frequent questions lately. My answer is always simple, "Her spirit friends of course." We can't see them but she obviously see something that makes her happy. I take comfort in the fact that she sees them in different places but most often in my room. Calla and Maya have asked if she can see Georgie and I always say that I think she can. This seems to bring comfort to Calla and Maya too.

Aria has also discovered her hands and her tongue. She is constantly gnawing on her fists or sticking out her tongue. I try to smile and play with her when she is sticking out her tongue but there is always a sick feeling in my stomach. For those of you not familiar with the symptoms of SMA, one of them is the rippling of the tongue. Mike and I have both admitted that we sometimes stare at Aria's tongue half expecting to see the rippling even though we know that she is fine.

How do we know that she is fine? Well, she holds her head and her back up to look around constantly. When I try to burp her against my chest she plants her feet down and stands up! She is constantly kicking and trying to roll over. Of course, she has a super loud cry which like I said actually makes me laugh.

At twelve pounds Aria has grounded me. She reminds me of the beauty and hope that exists in the world. She reminds me that life is worth living and taking risks is a part of living. She makes me smile and laugh and keeps me so busy that sometimes I can't remember the last time that I sat down. She loves to cuddle and forces me to carry her often. The weight of Aria doesn't replace the weight of Georgia but her weight is exactly what I need right now.

Love to you all,

Kristen