The Crib

Our family crib has a bit of a history. It originally belonged to friends of Mike's family. The original couple had met a little bit later in life and had adopted a baby boy they named Nathaniel. We received the crib from them when we were expecting Calla and Nathaniel was around 3. Neither Calla nor Maya slept in the crib until they were close to 6 months old. They either slept in the bassinette next to me or in the bed with Mike and me. I always liked keeping my babies close and it made middle of the night feedings that much easier.

Last August, Mike took apart Calla's bed and we put in bunk beds for the girls. They now share a room and love their bed! I actually believe that sharing a room at this age has brought them closer. I'm sure in a few years it will be a very different story! : ) The crib stayed put in Maya's old room and the bassinette was brought back into ours. Georgie always slept in the bassinette or in bed with us just like the other two. On April 2nd however Mike returned home from the hospital to put the crib up in our room so that we could keep her comfortable and close to us. She had grown so much that the bassinette was now too small for her and the crib was better for toys, mobile etc.

Georgia slept in that crib for all of 18 nights, 17 if you discount the night we thought that we were losing her because she was in my arms. The crib still stands...

If the crib were still in the old bedroom I would just leave it untouched for the time being but it is in our bedroom (the portal as it is affectionately called). It kind of doesn't belong there and yet we can't touch it. Part of the problem is that you have to take it apart to take it out of the room. We have discussed putting it back into Maya/Georgie's old room but aren't quite sure what to do. Right now that room is full of stuff that I am struggling to go through. We could also take it apart and place it in storage but we're not there yet either. Our children are/were 27 months apart so the crib has never been in storage. We've discussed giving it away but aren't sure that that's the right thing to do either. Welcome to the indecisiveness of grieving parents.

And so, the crib still stands... in our room where our sweet Georgie slept for 17 nights.

Love to you all,

Kristen

Bracelets

Here is the picture of the beautiful bracelets that Tanya gave us. You can click on the image to enlarge it.

Love to you all,

Kristen

Beautiful People

If I were being honest I would tell you all that coming down from Maya's party was hard, really hard. While I had a great time and am pretty sure that Maya did too when it came time to go to bed on Saturday night I was overcome with sadness. On Sunday morning, I went back to bed asking Mike and the girls for 'one hour' because I just couldn't face the day. Life without Georgia can at times be unbearable. I did get out of bed on Sunday of course, and we all went to celebrate Ethan's 2nd birthday. It was a fun time despite the lingering feelings I had about Georgia not being at her big sister's party.

I am surrounded by beautiful people however. Today, as the girls and I were sitting down to lunch there was a knock at the door. It was Tanya. I don't claim to know Tanya very well except to say that she is a kind and generous person and every time I have been in her company we've had a good time. She arrived on my doorstep unannounced to drop off a gift and wanted to do just that and run away. I convinced her to stay. The gifts that she brought are irreplaceable and amazingly thoughtful.

Calla, Maya and I all received charm bracelets. You know the Italian ones with the links. What makes these bracelets so special is that they are memoral bracelets. My links include: a heart with Georgia written through it, a lily, an angel, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and several others. They are all beautiful. The girls have several of the same charms but one of theirs says: Sisters - Calla, Maya, Georgia and the next link reads 'Friends Forever'! My favorite link that is on all three bracelets is far from the most beautiful but I am drawn to it. It reads: Cure SMA. Mike also received some links in the form of a keychain.

Thank you for the beautiful gift Tanya. Tanya is one of the beautiful people that continue to follow our story and ask for nothing in return. I know that there are many of you out there. Since Georgia has become ill we have received many gifts. Not just the kind that you open. We have received messages from all over North America and the world for that matter. Some of you have chosen to organize events and fundraisers for great causes because you have been inspired by the fighting spirit of our beautiful Georgie and others like her. Some of you are seizing the moment with your kids and family because you see how precious your time with them really is. Some of you have offered to watch my kids more than once so that I can do whatever I need to do. I consider all of these gifts.

I am ashamed to say that I have sent out 3 thank you cards. To all of you beautiful people that continue to follow please know that we are eternally thankful for your kindness, generosity, support, prayers, gifts etc. If I were to start writing thank yous I don't know that I would ever finish and I would certainly not have time to blog. This is how I continue to show our appreciation. If you haven't been individually thanked I apologize. Thank you!

The sadness that overwhelmed me on Saturday night and Sunday morning has dissipated somewhat, thanks to many of the beautiful people in my life. I'm off to the treadmill in the morning even though it's Canada Day.

I'll be posting pictures of the bracelets in the next couple of days (the girls are at Gramma's tonight with their bracelets). Happy Canada Day!

Love to you all,

Kristen

Dreams

Tonight as I was rubbing Maya's back and talking about all of her favorite things, she started talking about the two cakes that she had at her two birthday parties. I thought that she was referring to the cake and cupcakes seperately but was unsure as to the two parties. I have actually heard her referring to two parties over the last couple of days but haven't paid much attention because she is a HUGE story teller. Sometimes at supper time she'll stand on her chair, open her arms up wide (like she's gathering her audience) and proceed to tell some of the most outrageous tales. They usually involve at least one family member, possibly an animal, usually a fairy and some kind of magic. Sometimes they make sense but a lot of time she loses track of what she is saying and ends up telling two or three tales at a time. She did only just turn 3! : )

Tonight however, I asked her about her two parties. She proceeded to tell me about the one that she had had on Saturday and then went on in clear detail about the one that she had had with Georgie. I asked her if this had happened in her dream and she said yes. She seemed to be telling me that she had had the same dream more than once. What was odd about the whole story was that she was consistent with the details over and over. It was just Georgie, Calla and her. Mike and I weren't there which seemed to confuse her a bit. She couldn't tell me why I wasn't there. She kept saying that maybe I had gone out to the store. Even when Calla questioned her she stayed consistent.

Calla too has talked about dreams that she has had with Georgie. She always seems intent on telling me about how happy Georgia is in Heaven. Calla just loves to play with Georgie in her dreams and tells me that sometimes Maya is there too. Whenever she tells me about her dreams she is so happy that she is literally glowing. Calla always talks about how Georgia is still a baby and can't talk but they play together and Georgia smiles and laughs all the time.


"Hope is the dream of a soul awake." French Proverb

Sadly, I have had no dreams about my baby girl despite the fact that I am waiting. My soul must still be a little sleepy!

Love to you all,

Kristen