A New Day

Thank you to all of you that sent Calla birthday messages and those of you that sent ideas about teaching charity. Mike and I talked, and Calla has agreed that next year we will ask her friends to bring $10.00, half of which will go to a charity of Calla's choice and half of which will be given to her to pick out a gift on her own. We also liked the allowance idea divided into three jars, 'save, buy and donate'. We'll probably wait one more year on that one so that we can get Maya on board as well. Calla had a great day and seemed quite happy about everything leaving Mike and me to sigh with relief and exhaustion. : )

The sun is shining again today and the girls were out riding their bikes. This has made the beginning of our week that much easier. It was of course on the Monday that I took Georgie into hospital. Her breathing had become so labored that I was starting to feel panicked. The ER team immediately treated her with a mask which seemed to ease her breathing for a while but then it got worse again. A doctor came in to explain to me that she had bronchiolitis and that she was going to be admitted.

I remember that I started to cry in that moment. The doctor looked rather stunned and started to explain to me that it wasn't that serious, babies were admitted all of the time with it and that even her baby boy had spent some time in hospital a few months earlier with the same condition. I remember that I looked over at Georgie and then into her eyes, "You don't understand," I said. "She is going to die" The doctor looked at my poor weak little baby and then looked me in the eyes, one mother to another, and sadly said, "We don't know that."

I still remember exactly what she looks like and what her name is. The reason that I remember her is that she didn't try to patronize or ridicule me. She knew that a mother's instinct was not something to be messed with. She would come up to the PICU just over a week later. Again she just looked me in the eyes, this time not saying a word. We were still waiting on the diagnosis but even she could see that which I had already known.

Love to you all,

Kristen