I have avoided writing the last few days as my ability to focus has gone downhill along with my mood. One of the reasons for this is that Mike's request for stress leave was denied despite the doctor saying that he definitely needs some more time. A registered letter arrived Wednesday morning telling him that he is to report back to work next week or no longer be paid. I guess that burying your daughter isn't stressful enough for his company to give someone time. Needless to say I was so angry that I could have spit! Mike became a stressed out mess not sure of even how to proceed. With the help and guidance of some friends he has decided to appeal. We'll see what happens!
On a more positive note the lovely staff at Lacoste's Garden Centre have set us up with someone to come and help design the backyard, the most important part being Georgie's garden. I know that some of you wonder how I spend my time. Sometimes I find myself driving down St Mary's heading out to the garden centres. I actually find peace there. There is nobody to bug you and you are surrounded by thousands of beautiful flowers. On Sunday, Maya and I were there walking the aisles. I had just finished telling her that we weren't going to buy anything when we both started admiring these tiny pink flowers. I actually had no idea what they were until I read the tag. Forget-Me-Nots. So, Maya and I marched back out to get a cart and threw a few in.
I know that many of you have been expecting to see me and yet I still find it hard to go out. I am still seeking solitude. I have some almost good days and some really bad days at this point. I only answer the phone when I feel like talking and I rarely call people back. Forgive me but this is where I'm at. So far, I have managed to take the girls to gymnastics on Monday, that was an almost good day. I have left the other activities to others or left them alone completely. If you have emailed me and I haven't emailed back it's because I often find it hard to concentrate, not because I don't appreciate your messages.
Thank you Candace for the Ellen t-shirt. The message on the front seems amazingly appropriate and I will wear it with pride. Thank you Kimmy for your amazing fundraising and the tree planting ideas. It will be a great day! Thank you again Victoria. Stay strong!
Love to you all,
Kristen
Sweet 16 on September 16th ~ Emersyn
2 months ago
Wow... I'm really sorry about your husband's company not caring to let him take stress leave. Some companies are totally heartless :o(
ReplyDeleteThe forget-me-nots are such a cute idea. Your garden will look lovely.
I'm glad to hear that you are having some almost good days. I'm also glad to hear that you have a lot of people who care and are in your life no matter what is going on. That is a big blessing.
Always thinking of you,
Nicole :o)
Your welcome Kristen, I couldn't resist when I saw the message and your desire to find a cure. I too, love the Ellen show, I think she is one of the funniest female commediennes out there. Amber, funny enough, loves it when she dances. She usually gets up and dances right along.
ReplyDeleteI hope that Mike's work will come around and give him more time.
Take Care,
Miss you at dance,
Candace
I am so glad to hear Mike has decided to appeal, insurance companies don't count on that and I can't imagine a situation more fitting the criteria for stress leave! We will certainly add that to our prayers, and I hope he is finding his actual company is trying to help him out if they can! I read somewhere about a person's colleagues donating their vacation time. I know it would be hard to lose your own family time, but even if people gave a few days or a week out of the time they have it wouldn't be a huge loss in order to let you guys have some extra, much needed time!
ReplyDeleteI am also glad to hear you are having some "almost good days"-that is a big step in all of this. Don't apologize at all for not feeling like chatting, returning emails etc., you use your time how you need to. None of us write to you in order to get a response, we write so you know how much you are loved and that there are lots of people near and far thinking of you and here for you in you need anything.
I am so glad you and Maya enjoyed your time in the garden centre, I agree, it is a peaceful place!
We were given some balloons today at a party and Tori let one go and said that it was for Georgia to play with, always in our thoughts and hearts!
I can't imagine the frustration you and Mike are feeling this week, and I only hope that the insurance company realizes it's mistake quickly. As with this entire journey, keep doing what you are doing, one step at a time and although there will be many times you feel you are going backwards it truly is part of the process. You are both incredibly strong people, I know it doesn't always feel that way but you are, and those days you don't feel it, there are so many people willing to help hold you up.
Love you guys,
Em
What is the insurance company that denied his claim? They will have a "Contact Us" link on their website so everyone reading this blog can give those heartless b******s our thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI say put a link to this blog on the appeal form.
Take care,
Brent
Thanks for posting Kristen! I respect how difficult it must be to muster up the energy to express to all of us. If Mike return's next Wednesday i offer my support to you...if you would like for the kids to come play or if you want to spend the day with us. I hope your today and tomorrow get a bit better than your yesterday. I also pray for better weather so you can plant your forget-me-nots.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with Brent...I think that the insurance company has made a huge error. Heartless was a very fitting word.
Having said this..I know Mike is facing some difficult decisions that compound his grief...we support what ever he decides. I think he will make the best decision for the family weighing all options! You guys are his #1 priority.
Love and hugs
Natalie
I'm glad to hear you're finding some solitude and having some good days. I was really sorry to hear about Mike being denied more time off work. I agree with Brent too.
ReplyDeleteHannah is really enjoying seeing Calla again at school and dance. Take your time getting back into things. Looking forward to seeing you when you're ready.
Rebecca
IBM is becoming a "sweat shop" and from other things I know them to do, I am not surprised with what they have done to Mike, although I am again, disgusted with them. John says Mikes way too good for IBM and he should be working for Google. lol Mike absolutely needs time off and should be able to get short term disability with a doctors letter. Its unfathomable that he is being roadblocked. Neither of you need extra stress right now. I sincerely hope this works out ok. Not a day goes by that we dont think of you both and hope you are as fine as is possible. I hope the weather improves soon to enjoy your garden making and just enjoy the sun on your face. Kate and John
ReplyDeleteI agree with Brent.I think we should bombard ibm canada headquarters. They`re on google and they`re probably oblivious to the callous treatment of their employees by their insurance company.I won`t do this without some go ahead from Mike, i`d hate to think he got fired over this, but he and Kristen need sometime to adjust even 2 or 3 more weeks.
ReplyDeleteCome on IBM have a heart!!
Carol
Kristen,
ReplyDeleteWishing a "Happy Mother's Day" to you, an extraordinary mommy, and hoping that your day tomorrow is filled with peace, solitude, smiles and laughter from Calla and Maya, and butterfly kisses from Georgia.
Love & hugs,
Sharlene Rollwagen
Kristen,
ReplyDeleteI know Sunday will be a hard day but I wanted to wish you a Happy Mother's Day and a day filled with love and laughter with Mike, Calla and Maya. I know you will be missing Georgia, as always, but I hope you feel her presence comforting you throughout the day. You are an incredible mother and one of the strongest women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and having in my life, and for that I thank you today.
I read this poem and thought you might find a bit of comfort and peace in it.
"The Busiest Day In Heaven"
It's the busiest day in Heaven
I'm planning a big surprise
To let you know I love you
And that no one ever dies
Even though your down below
And I am up above
I'm sending you my wishes
And all my angel love
It's really quite exciting
To plan this big event
For lots of gifts will come your way
And all are Heaven sent
First I'll take a bubble bath-
My splashes might cause some rain
But knowing all the fun I'm having
Will help to ease your pain
Next I'll get some pictures
In my halo and gown
So when you get to Heaven
You can show me all around
I have color crayons in Heaven
And I will draw some stars so bright
And place them in the sky today
For you to see tonight
Then Jesus will have story time
And I will sit upon his lap
He'll tell me all about you
Just before I nap
I'll awake full of energy
And play a game or two
Before I finish sending
All my love to you
After snack I'll write a song
For all the birds to sing
And know I've made you happy
With all the joy it brings
At night time I'll be tired
But I'll still hold you tight
My arms will wrap around you
And keep you through the night
And when you finally slumber
I will kneel and pray
Asking God to bless you
On this special Mothers Day
Love,
Your Little Angel"
Love and Hugs, Bruce and Em
Kristen & Family
ReplyDeleteI was so sorry to hear about Georgia. I often saw you with your other two beautiful daughters at the park. I have a little girl, Ashley about the same age as Maya. I can't begin to even imagine what you've been though. I'm so moved and inspired by your strength. Your an incredible MOM. Bless you and your family.
Jennifer Mark Ashley & Carley
Hi all,
ReplyDeleteI should mention that I am grateful to my company for all the paid time I've had up until now -- almost two months since Georgia first went into hospital. And it's an insurance company (sorry Brent, probably best that I don't name it!) that makes the decisions.
It's just frustrating the process is so impersonal. Anyway, I am appealing, so we'll so how that goes.
Thanks
Mike
Kristen, Mike and girls,
ReplyDeleteJust wanted you to know that we are thinking of you. If you feel up to it Kristen you can call anytime - I would love to grab a coffee when you are ready.
xoxox
Jo
Mike,
ReplyDeleteI am not sure whether you have to go to work while you appeal, or if you are taking time off unpaid for now, but we are thinking of you either way. My dad was turned down for his long-term disability at first as well, they really hope you don't appeal, but when you do I think they take a 'closer look'-which should be done right away!! We are so happy your company has done what they have and could do up until now, I just wish companies had more say into how insurance companies deal with their employees!
Kristen, we are thinking of you today and hope that if Mike isn't there you have family and friends helping you out-you have so many who are willing!
We love you guys and hope the sun is shining down on you,
Em
Kristen & Family,
ReplyDeleteI've just read Georgia's story as I came across your blog through a link on another. My heart breaks and the tears have not stopped flowing. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious Georgia.
I have signed the petition and I will spread the word about SVA to my friends and family in memory of Georgia.
Becky
Calgary, AB